Saturday, May 14, 2011

Ain't no use jiving / Ain't no use joking / Everything is broken.

Here is a list of the stuff that has gone south at my house:

1) My 4-month-old refrigerator. Had the compressor replaced Friday (yup, yesterday) and today it decided to stop freezing. Thing 1 made several trips with partly thawed food across the street to our neighbors while I mopped up a puddle of purple melt from frozen blueberries.

2) Back deck boards have started to spring up; after all these years, this year is apparently the one they have chosen to loose their screwholds on the substructure.

3) Electric lawnmower battery no longer takes a charge. Cannot mow more than 3 feet at a time before it goes dead. I can replace the battery for about $200, only slightly less than just buying a new lawnmower.

4) My bathtub is cracking. I caulked it, but reglazing is certainly in the near future, and it's possible I may need to replace it.

5) The toilet in Thing 1's bathroom won't stop running. Sometimes. Sometimes it's fine. And then it goes through phases in which it won't shut off. Yes, I've sanded the calcium deposits out of the stem. Yes, I know I need to replace the works.

6) But I'm going to have to disassemble and flush my upstairs bathroom sink first.

7) And the ballast in two of my light fixtures, which may or may not be a fire hazard..

I'm pretty self-sufficient and capable, in a handy sort of way. (Except, as we have seen, when feral beasts are concerned.) But there are times when I wish I had...not a man around the house, but another adult around the house, a partner who could, you know, at least sit on the phone with the fridge people and yell at them while I took care of one of the other crises lined up.

(And yes, I could certainly call my dad, and he'd be here in 20 minutes. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting my dad, he is MacGyver. Better: have you read James Galvin's The Meadow? [If you haven't, you should. A true modern masterpiece.] My dad = Lyle. But I really, really don't want to be the 40-year-old who has to keep calling Daddy to fix things. I do not lack skill. I do, however, lack hours in the day.) (And, at times, calm decision-making power.)

Update: dateline, 620am. Fridge part went out overnight. Must go to convenience store up the road to get ice. Thank goodness I camp and have many coolers.

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