But I swear, I cannot seem to remember how to write a scholarly essay. How does one begin? I sit down at the computer and my brain goes blank. I know that in the past I have written them, and I know that I have begun just by beginning, and that I have written my way into a clear argument. I know all that, but somehow, the mental and even the kinetic memory of how to go about this whole enterprise has gone away. Writing this chapter seems not to be anything at all like riding a bike--and I can't figure out why, since it's only been about 6 months since I was working daily on scholarly writing. What! the! hell!!!?
My darkest fears are coming true: I *will* be revealed as a fraud.